When relationships end, a lot of times the lovers don’t know exactly what went wrong. For those who are deeply in love with each other, it’s quite unimaginable that their relationships would ever come to an end, and hence they are left in shock and disbelief.
Here are some steps to take in avoiding unexpected heart break and make your relationship a healthy one.
Secrets of A Healthy Relationship
1# Get To Know Each Other
It’s important to know the kind of person you are getting involved with. Don’t get carried away by emotions and feelings; study your partner. Most importantly, knowing how your partner relates with other people is a mirror of their personality. If someone is cruel to others around them and only behave nice to you, it’s logical to dissociate from such a person.
#2 Become Friends With Your Partner First
The value of friendship can never be over emphasized. A lot of romantic relationships never survive a fraction of the time that friendships do. Most relationships end up at the roadside and as jokes for friends. It’s important to actually like someone before getting involved with them.
Saying you don’t know what you love about a person, might sound romantic, but in reality, it is a pointer to a flawed relationship. Figure out what you guys have in common outside ‘feelings’, and build up a friendship around that. Books, football, movies are some of the passionate things people share.
#3 Set Your Relationship Goals Right from the Start
Never go into or stay in any relationship based on assumptions. If you are too scared to ask some hard questions about your relationship, then maybe you already know it’s time to end it. Going along with the flow and not asking concrete questions to ascertain if both of you are on the same plane, will more often than not lead to a world of heart break.
This includes defining the end of the relationship even from the beginning. Are you looking at a life partner or is this person someone you can date but can’t marry? Define all these issues and save yourself some heartache.
#4 Never Lose Yourself
No matter how much you love and care for a person, you must always remember, you come first. Putting your partner’s need before yours is all good and fine as long as you are getting as good as you give. Giving up your friends, hobbies, lifestyle and all for a partner is as good as giving up your life for them.
Remember this person fell in love with the person you were when you still had all these things. Giving them up, even for that person, turns you into a different individual entirely, and not particularly a more attractive one. You become needy, and that’s totally unsexy and uncool.
Never give up your identity for anyone; that might be all you have left when he or she takes a walk.
#5 Friends Are Important.
Every relationship is different and unique. Having friends in no way diminishes your ability to have a good relationship. If a relationship keeps you away from your friends, consciously make out time for them and remind your partner to do the same. Having time apart keeps things fresh and adds value to your time together. The role of friends cannot be completely filled by a lover; good friends are indispensable.
Never stop communicating. If anything feels wrong, talk about it. If something smells fishy, talk; if things are rosy and perfect, still talk. Never stop communicating if you value your relationships. And even if you have no more value for it, respect your partner enough to let them know how you feel.
#7 Don’t Take Your Partner For Granted
Finally, ignoring your partner, insulting them or taking advantage of him or her is a sure way to end your relationship. Relationships are about equal give and take, so, unless you want to be ignored or belittled, don’t do that. Appreciate whatever you get from a relationship, and give as well as you get. A one-sided affair is an unstable one.