My experience on the 18th of February was not one I was expecting, I did not see it coming at all. Do you remember I mentioned looking for Aso Ebi styles last week? If yes, the reason was because I had this guy named Kunle that I really wanted to represent very well.
Kunle and I have been hanging out a lot lately. I met him at the cinemas few months ago when we both came to see the movie ‘Dr Strange’. It all started when he collided with me, thereby spilling half of my popcorn; he was so apologetic and offered to replace my popcorn but as the big girl that I form to be, I declined and went ahead to get another pack for myself.
I was sitting just by the cotton candy stand when Kunle came to sit beside me and started apologising all over again. I told him not to worry and that everything was fine now. We got talking and decided to see the movie together since none of us had a partner.
I had a nice time seeing the movie with Kunle; he was an interesting person so it wasn’t surprising that we exchanged contacts and have been hanging out and seeing each other frequently since then. We spent long hours on phone conversations and spent most of our free time together.
At a point, I was already having feelings for him and almost concluded that he was my ‘Mr Right’. And because we spent lot of quality time together, I almost believed that he doesn’t have any girl in his life, beside me. So it wasn’t a surprise when I agreed to attend his friend’s wedding, as his date.
I had forgotten about the wedding date until we ran into his friend and his fiancee at Spurs, where we had gone to have lunch. We exchanged pleasantries, and after few minutes of chit chat the couples insisted I attended their wedding. Kunle laughed and told them that I was his date to the function already. The bride-to-be insisted that I get the Gele of her Aso Oke, which I paid for and got at the spot.
The bride-to-be’s voice kept ringing in my head all through saying “I picked only gele and cap, I want my friends to buy whatever type of fabric that suits them as long as it is Magenta in colour”. I was not going to be under-dressed and I had to represent my Kunle well, so I took my time to explore all my fabric vendors and finally settled for a cord lace of ₦27,000 per 5 yards.
Kunle called me at work about 5 days to the wedding and asked me how I was preparing for the wedding. I told him I was good to go; I remember him saying “Hahaha, I trust you to slay, dont disappoint me”. I headed to one nice boutique in Ikeja and bought a nice pair of Gold Heels to match the dress. I won’t mention the designer or the price of the shoe so you don’t start throwing jabs at me but have it in mind that my bank account felt the effect of the purchase.
Finally it was Saturday the 18th, my glam team was on point. I was the definition of Pepper them gang, make up on fleek, dress on point, my accessories were perfect, from my jewellery to my matching shoe and clutch bag. Kunle saw me and he could not hide his joy as he kept complimenting me and taking my pictures. I was beautifully adorned.
We got to the wedding venue, the church service was a long one about 4 hours (10am -2pm). The air conditioning was my only compensation as I was still on fleek. We headed to the reception afterwards but at this point I was already very hungry, as Kunle didn’t allow me eat breakfast because we had to hurry and not get there late.
The reception hall was well decorated and you could tell from the wedding vendors that the couple spent a lot on their big day. I was impressed. The food started coming in and the sight of the Jollof rice already proved it Nigerian. Imagine my disappointment when the servers kept ignoring me and I was too shy to even ask them why.
Kunle was busy chatting and having fun with the other friends of the couple, totally ignoring me. I was calm but bored. Had to find solace in the MC, who was very entertaining. Kunle came back with a plate of food and started eating without asking me if I had eaten. I was of the opinion that he felt I had eaten, so I took it upon myself to inform him that I needed food.
Kunle kept on eating, telling me to relax that he will get me something to eat. After finishing his food he left again and about 30 minutes later, he came back to inform me that food had finished. I maintained my calmness. Kunle left me on the seat again, and after a while he managed to get chips and barbeque fish, but only to come sit beside me and start telling me how good the fish tasted and how the mocktails were just out of this world.
At this point, I could not take it anymore; how can someone be this greedy? I just opened my Taxify app, requested a ride and left him there without saying goodbye. I stopped over at The Place on my way home, settled for a plate of coconut rice and chicken before heading home.
Don’t even ask me about Kunle, I have not seen him since then and yes, I have been ignoring his calls and blocked him on all social media platforms. It is funny what ruins great relationships.
Before I drop my pen, please note, do not invite me to a function if you can’t secure my stomach. The Jollof rice is my right, don’t oppress me.
Your Favourite wedding guest,