Naija weddings are known for the most eccentric range of party favours and souvenirs. But then, any true member of the owanbe scene knows that we aren’t picky when it comes to souvenirs. Any Nigerian party, from birthday to burials, is just one more avenue for getting some more stuff.
But then, we can always count on our weddings, as these are the most frequent events. But then again, I wonder which people are always going for the vigils, deliverance, and stuff that are always being organized for single and searching brothers and sisters. Well, that’s none of my business I guess.
Back to the issue at hand, being an avid owanbe socialite comes with the very fun aspect of being a collector of party favours and souvenirs oh, not art or wine.
Be my guest as I take you through a run-down of Nigerian wedding souvenirs and other party favours in my collection. To further simplify the process let’s just say there are three classes of wedding souvenirs; the good, the bad and the unimaginable.
The Good Nigerian Wedding Souvenirs
Now, can you imagine receiving an invite for your cousin’s tenth wedding anniversary, and realizing the mug and the kettle you are using to make breakfast that morning are from the event? Now, that’s the good. Some owanbe parries make so much sense, the hosts are not afraid to spend money and impress their guests.
The couple that gives useful electronics such as an electric boiler kettle — I mean how will I ever forget to pray for you when I’m drinking tea? The hosts willing to give us iPad and Android phones — I’d gladly accept, even Microsoft torchlight phone is very okay (you know how much those things cost these days?), Ese gan.
And family members that give beautifully-decorated shopping bags and handcrafted china (ceramic plates), I look forward to more of your events and won’t hesitate, at all, to buy your aso-ebi — just keep the Jollof flowing.
Wall clocks and wristwatches, like there was actually a party where guests were gifted with a jewelry set complete with wristwatch, chain, pendant, earrings and wrist chain/bangle. This family has effectively saved me from the worries of replacing my wristwatch that has spoilt months ago, plus I get to do fine girl upanadan, with confirm jewelry my broke self can’t yet afford. You see, these are the real M.V.Ps of party favours.
The Bad Nigerian Wedding Souvenirs
The bad, well, these people are the reason why we sometimes don’t want to bother with aso-ebi. Why will you be giving me 20-naira sachet of detergent; the hand fan is still manageable for those times the heat seems to come from the pit of hell.
But please aunty, keep your Paracetamol and stop wishing me a headache, plus when you are giving me a broom, mummy did I tell you my house is dirty? Plus what is with Naija weddings and sharing of plastic bowls, plates, and spoons?
Like dude, we got tons of those unused from when my grandmother was collecting. For those that give out one small Indomie as souvenir… really? Is that supposed to satisfy an adult like me? Abeg you people, help us to help you, upgrade your souvenirs biko.
The Unimaginable Nigerian Wedding Souvenirs
Ehen, this unimaginable group ehn, some of them you can’t even say outside, abi which mouth will you use to tell your mother that the condom that fell from your bag during church was from the wedding that you went yesterday? Or is it the people giving me turning stick/spatula on their birthday to tell me to go and learn how to turn amala?
Why will you give me bread as party favours? Am I that hungry looking? And the worst of all, giving out agbo jedi (locally prepared herb) at a function, hmmm….. No words for that.
For those that gave fufu, onions, matches, tin tomatoes and ewedu broom, well, they might have been weird as hell, but then na Naija we dey. As a pro socialite, experience has taught me the right events to invest in, and those not to — the souvenirs are very important.
Oya, over to you, list out the good, the bad, and the unimaginable wedding souvenirs you have collected in owanbe parries.