“Comparisons are easily done when you have had a taste of perfection”, so begins Katy Perry as she tells of a love so strong that it holds sway over every other relationship afterwards. The phenomenon of lost loves, or impossible loves, is as old as the world itself.
From Romeo and Juliet to the dilemma of a young back couple who sadly part ways to save their future children, we’ve all learnt that love isn’t always enough. Religion, culture, geography, health, responsibilities — all these are some of the biggest stumbling blocks to most relationships.
While for certain peoples, they can find a way to make their love work despite these obstacles. For others, the cost of their love is simply too great to continue, both on themselves and on others [as seen in the movie ‘The Space between Us’]. Sometimes, death is the great divide that gives a final and total end to the beauty of the perfect love story.
So how do you get over lost love in which both you and the partner are madly in love? How do you move past seeing their faces in that of every stranger on the road? How do you stop feeling for them when you hear blues songs?
Let’s examine some ways to get over lost love, a way to getting to a state of mind where you will no longer be slave to the past shared with the partner.
How to Get Over Lost Love
- No bounce back relationships: Starting a new relationship immediately you end a non-terminal relationship is an absolute ERROR. You are obviously still in love with someone else and you would just use your new partner and never truly love them. Any new relationship will most likely never last, as you haven’t gotten over your lost love.
Most of the time, you will find yourself consciously or unconsciously comparing and contrasting between the old and the new love.
- Be cautious: As tempting as it might be, going on a sex marathon or a series of one night stands will not fill the void left behind. You would probably end up hurting yourself more. A string of meaningless relationships can never make up for your perfect relationship.
- Love is not a one way road: Give yourself time to grieve and grieve appropriately for your love, but do not despair. No matter how awesome a person or relationship might have been for you, do not give up on getting an even better love.
Appreciate other people and learn to live your life with the will to love and be loved once more. Open your eyes to the possibility of meeting someone as amazing or even more amazing as your past relationship. You can’t afford to compare different people and the way they love you, if you want to get over your lost love, as each individual is unique in his or her way of expressing love.
- Keep Away: unless you are willing to give the relationship another try, staying in touch with your partner wouldn’t help get over the failed relationship. You need to give yourselves time to heal and move forward; and since you guys were not willing to let go of each other, keeping in contact can be likened to throwing a gallon of gasoline on a barely contained furnace.
So, unless you want to continue in a relationship, in spite of the problems in it, you need to stay away.
- Don’t cheat: If you or the other half of your relationship, or maybe the both of you are involved with someone else, going behind their back is the worst thing ever to do to them. It is one thing to see your ex in everything you do with your current love interest. But going behind their back to have a relationship with said ex is just a cheapening of whatever love you have for yourselves.
- Get busy: If you really want to get over your lost love, don’t spend your time moping and daydreaming about what might have been. Get active and get busy with other things. Try new adventures and go for some new and exciting challenges. Life is hard, and so is love; but don’t forget that life is too short to be spent daydreaming on ‘might-have-beens.
There is so much to achieve and so much of the world to see. Get over the lost love, and let go of any relationship that might turn toxic to your life.